Maybe He Shouldn't Have Said That by Daniel Cubias
Of the twenty-eight women he fucked during the course
of his life, seventeen of them ended up dancing on his grave. For the nonmathamatician,
it should be pointed out that this is substantially more than half. For the
literal-minded, it should be pointed out that actual dancing occurred.
Four of the women danced at once, and there were also two duos who showed up.
The others came singularly, but they all danced, stomping his grave and shimmying
against his headstone in a very real display.
One woman did a joyous two-step, while another embarked upon a rather intricate
Riverdance-type thing. Two of them even did a tango, which isn’t quite
what a person thinks of when the expression “dance on your grave” is
bandied about. But tango they did, much to the excitement of the many spectators
who were eager to be relieved from the tedium of visiting a nearby deceased
relative.
One woman did an awkward, shuffling hop and then scurried off the plot of dirt.
Another woman showed up in bright spandex, started up her boombox, and launched
into a fly-girl extravaganza of leaps and sweat-inducing gyrations. One just
kicked up her heels and howled with joy.
The grounds-crew was kept busy replacing the trampled grass and shredded flowers,
and they labored mightily to keep the kicked dirt from spilling onto adjacent
graves. But even at the peak of their efficiency, they were unable to keep
up with the recurrent imprints of a stiletto heel or women’s sneaker
tread, many of which would show up overnight or more than once.
At last the women stopped boogieing-down on the topsoil of his final resting
place, and an accounting was made. Of the eleven eligible women who didn’t
dance on his grave, three chickened out, three lived far away and couldn’t
make the time, two wanted to but thought that it would be in poor taste, one
was dead herself, and one was in a wheelchair. All these women were forgiven
for their lack of action.
However, one woman actually maintained fond memories and warm feelings for
his despicable soul. When the other ex-girlfriends and former wives found out
about this interloper, they vowed to dance on her grave as well, although almost
no third-party observers thought that they would really do so.
They were in for a huge surprise.
Daniel Cubias
Daniel Cubias is a writer living in Minneapolis. His stories
have appeared in Word.com, The
Harpweaver, and Eclectica. He had the top short
story in
the 2000 New Century Writing Contest, and he is looking for a publisher for his first novel.
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