he was not one of those who lived in the park—her
hair was washed and her dress was clean and she smelled nice. Nor
was she a tourist. The residents of the park did not try to beg
from her, but went about their business—some boys playing
among the rocks at the water’s edge, some men fishing, small
groups gathered around cardboard sleeping places and driftwood
campfires,
barefoot children playing soccer with a ball fashioned from rags
and twine. The woman passed these by until she saw what she was
looking for—a young girl who sat alone on the concrete wall
that separated the city and the bay. She sat beside the child and
told
her she was pretty and put her arm around the girl’s shoulders.
The girl had learned about women like that, women who liked young
girls, from an older friend. From what that friend told her, it
wasn’t bad. The older woman who had taken her friend to her
apartment in Makati had been nice; had given her new clothes and
fed her. She stayed there for three nights until the woman said
she had to go to Davao City on business. The friend said that what
the woman did was not unpleasant—kissing and touching, nothing
that hurt her.
So the child did not move away when the woman put her arm around
her. The woman said that she would be even prettier if she was
cleaned up and had a nice dress to wear. That seemed alright.
Touching and kissing a woman would be a small price to pay for
new clothes and food and a real bed in a real home. They went
to the shopping center on Mabini where the woman bought her underwear,
a dress, and a pair of black patent leather shoes. They took
the purchases to the woman’s apartment on Singalong street.
The girl showered and shampooed her hair. She came out of the
bathroom smelling nice and wearing her new underwear.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked the woman.
“It’s very easy. I want you to pretend to be my
daughter.”
She was confused. Women did not kiss and touch their daughters,
not the way her friend had described it. And if the woman wanted
a daughter, why choose her?
“Why?”
“It’s like this, sweetheart. I’m a prostitute.”
She knew the word, and knew what it meant. She knew girls who
made money that way, waiting in the little park across from the
Ambassador Restaurant or walking Roxas Boulevard. She knew what
they did, had seen them on their knees in the shadows, and it
disgusted her.
“I don’t want to do that.”
“You won’t have to do anything. Just go with me
and pretend to be my daughter.”
“Why?”
“I’m getting old. The men don’t want me anymore.
They want young girls.”
“I don’t want to do that.”
“You won’t have to. I promise. Do you know how
to flirt with a man?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll bet you do. You’ve seen other girls
do it, right?”
“I guess so.”
“That’s all you have to do.”
“That’s all?”
“We’ll go to a hotel and find a man. You flirt
with him, act like you want to have sex with him.”
“But I won’t.”
“I know, but act like you would. He’ll take us
to his room. I’ll explain that I have to go with you because
you’re a virgin and you’re scared.”
“His room?”
“When we get there, I’ll take care of him. He might
want you to take your clothes off, might want to touch you, but
I won’t let him hurt you.”
“Promise?”
“Promise. I’ll take care of that. And then he’ll
give us money.”
“How much money?”
“I’ll give you four hundred if you’ll help
me.”
Four hundred pesos was a lot of money. She’d seen that
kind of money, seen wads of hundred peso notes pulled out of
the pockets of the Anglos. They liked to jog or walk the narrow
parkland between Roxas and the bay in the cooler hours. When
they passed by in their white shorts and tennis shoes, she’d
put herself in their path, holding out her hands and opening
her eyes as wide as they would go. Sometimes one would stop,
pull folded bills from a pocket, peel off a ten or twenty Peso
note and hand it to her. Sometimes that would happen; more often
they’d pass her by. When it did happen, she seldom got
to keep it. One of the older people in the park, if they saw
it, would take it from her.
Living like that, out of doors and rarely fed to the full,
made her skin dark, her body slim, and her spirit tough. Things
had begun to change. Before, she had been treated as a child,
one of the many who shared the park, who begged for food and
money and played football when no Anglos were around. But when
she turned twelve the men began to treat her differently. They
began inviting her to share their sleeping places, often with
promises of food and warmth. The first time this happened, she
accepted. But when she felt his hand between her legs she ran
crying back to her own sleeping place. She knew what he wanted
to do, had seen it done many times in the night darkness of the
park. Why she didn’t want to do it, she didn’t know,
they seemed to find it pleasurable, those nighttime lovers, she
only knew it frightened her.
“I guess it would be okay.”
“Good. Get dressed.”
“I’m very hungry.”
“We’ll eat later. First, let’s go make some
money.”
He was in the coffee shop in the lobby of the Sofitel Hotel
on Roxas Boulevard when they approached him.
“I am a poor widow,” the woman said. “And
this is my daughter. Could we have a moment of your time?”
Later in the day he was to meet with some people from the University
of the Philippines whom he hoped to interest in his line of educational
software. But for now, at three in the afternoon, there was nothing
on his schedule save coffee and relaxation. He welcomed the intrusion.
“Of course. Please sit down,” he said.
They did, the woman on one side; the girl on the other. Not
more than twelve, he thought. While the onset of womanhood showed
in her hips and breasts, he guessed she would be more interested
in dolls than lipstick and mascara. She was taller and more occidental
looking than the one who claimed to be her mother. The difference
made him wonder if the pair was related by blood or merely by
the poverty that brought them to him. Both were dressed in what
he supposed was their best. Both in flower print dresses and
black shoes, the older woman’s ill-fitting and frayed at
the hem; her shoes scuffed and worn down on the soles.
“We are poor women of Manila,” the older woman
said, “we are wondering if you could help us.”
“I don’t know. What did you have in mind?”
“My daughter likes you very much,” the woman said,
getting right to the point. She nodded to the girl and she, without
looking at him, placed her hand on his thigh.
“That’s nice,” he said, realizing he could
be referring to the statement or to the touch.
“She would like to go to your room with you.”
He felt his stomach contract. What was unfolding was, if he
understood correctly, something for which he could be imprisoned
in America. But here? He didn’t know. Did the Philippines
have similar laws governing age of consent? And, if it did, did
it matter that the mother was the instigator? What of morality?
Would he feel guilty? Would he be ashamed? Again, he didn’t
know. What he did know was that at the moment he had nothing
else to do.
“She is very young and inexperienced. I would have to
go with you.”
More questions. Would the so-called mother be a full partner?
Or would she be a coach and source of support for the girl? He
needed more time.
“Maybe later,” he said, “but for now, would
you like something to eat?”
“Bless you sir,” the woman squeezed his hand. “Yes,
we would.”
They went into the dining room, now almost empty. The woman
and the girl circled the buffet table and returned, each with
two plates piled high with eggs and sausages, donuts and fried
potatoes and fish. He sipped his third cup of coffee and watched
with admiration while the pair ate as though the meal might be
their last, or their first. They ate in silence, totally absorbed.
He watched for signs that might tell him more about them. What
he saw re-confirmed his suspicion that the two were unrelated.
A mother would show some concern for what and how her daughter
ate, but the woman showed no sign of that. A daughter, any daughter,
would turn occasionally to her mother, silently asking, “Is
this alright?”, but the girl did not. So the older woman
was a pimp. So much the better. A menage a trois with a woman
and an underage girl may not have been admirable, but better
than doing a girl and her mother. So he decided, while they were
mopping up the juices on their plates with bits of chocolate
covered donuts, to see where things led. He signed the check
and led them to the elevator.
In the elevator and walking down the hall to his room the girl
held on to him, her arm inside his arm, her thin body pressed
so close they walked like people in a sack race. Inside, the
women went straight into the bathroom. He heard water running
and toilets flushing and voices raised in argument. They spoke
in Tagalog, which he did not understand, and that, coupled with
the fact that the girl had not said a word to him, informed him
that the girl knew no English. The older woman, on the other
hand, spoke English well—another clue to their true relationship.
Any English speaking mother in this or any other foreign country
he had visited would have shared knowledge of that most highly
valued language with her children.
He turned on the television, took off his shoes, and lay down,
his head propped up by pillows set against the headboard. China
and Malaysia were engaged in a men’s doubles badminton
match when they came out of the bathroom. The girl lay down beside
him; the woman took a chair by the window.
“You can do what you want with her,” the woman
smiled.
He looked at the girl’s face. Her expression showed a
mix of fear and resignation. Traces of tears stained her thin
cheeks.
“But first,” the woman cautioned, “there
is the matter of your kind generosity.”
“How much?” he asked, not because he intended to
violate the frightened girl but out of curiosity.
“She is a virgin.”
“So you said.”
“Three thousand.”
Three thousand pesos. Over fifty American dollars. It seemed
excessive, even for a twelve-year-old virgin. The girls on Roxas
Boulevard would be happy with a couple of hundred pesos - less
if one bargained. What made a child so valuable? What kind of
man would pay so much for her? Not him. No matter what the price.
“She’s scared,” he said. “She doesn’t
want to do it.”
“But she will,” the woman said, and then she said
something in Tagalog to the girl. The girl began to unbutton
the top of her dress.
“I won’t,” he countered. He took the girl’s
hand in his, stopping her.
The woman left her chair. She walked around the bed and lay
down. She turned toward him and put her hand on him. “You’re
excited,” she said, stroking him, “If you don’t
want the girl, you can do what you like with me.”
“Not for three thousand, I wouldn’t.”
“Oh, no sir. I’m not young. For me a few hundred.
Just a few hundred would help us so much.”
The woman was not ugly, just worn. It was tempting.
“Is she going to watch?”
“If you like. If you want, she will take her clothes
off. You can look at her while we do it. You can touch her if
you like.”
“What will you do?”
“Anything you want. You can do with me what you want.” She
hissed another command to the girl. The words were unintelligible
to him but he quickly learned what they meant. The girl stood,
removed her dress, panties and bra, folded them neatly on the
chair, and lay back down beside him, careful not to touch him.
The woman unbuttoned his shirt, undid his belt and zipper and
pulled his pants and shorts off. She kissed him, starting at
his chest and moving downward. He put one hand on the girl’s
thigh and felt her body tense.
It was common enough among people who killed their spouses,
at least those he’d read about or seen portrayed in television
dramas. The murderer could recount in detail the events leading
up to the moment when he or she confronted the victim with a
gun or a knife then claim to have no recollection of the act
itself.
It was possible, he supposed, that a person’s mind could
obliterate events too horrible to accept. But, more likely, especially
in the case of someone accused of murder, he saw it as a convenient
amnesia designed to place the burden of decision as to guilt
or innocence in the hands of others.
In his case, there was no trial, no accusation of crime. Whatever
it was he could not now remember posed no threat of imprisonment.
The morning after, over coffee in the hotel cafe, he tried again
to force his mind to give up what it was holding in its secret
place. One moment he was lying between the naked girl and the
woman who claimed to be her mother. He remembered the excitement
that surged through his body as he touched the girl’s leg
while the woman took him into her mouth. And when he came back
to consciousness, he was lying, spent, beside the crying girl,
and the woman was sitting in the chair by the window holding
a bundle of peso notes and humming. Whatever happened between
the touching and the humming was lost.
He forced his mind to take a different path. He had gotten
orders from the English Department faculty he’d met with
the evening before. Today, he was scheduled to have lunch with
a woman who ran a string of private language schools and, later
in the day, he had appointments with people at De La Salle University.
If they bought in volume, as he anticipated they would, his stay
in Manila would pay off handsomely. He was considering a further
itinerary that would take him to potentially lucrative markets
in Hong Kong and Singapore when he saw her come up the steps
from Roxas Boulevard and through the glass doors of the entrance
to the lobby. This time she had a different daughter. The woman
looked at him and said something to the girl. The girl nodded.
They walked straight to his table.
“As you can see,” the woman said, “I have
more than one daughter.”
He nodded to the girl. She nodded back, a knowing gesture that
verified his first impression that the woman could not advertiser
this one as a virgin.
“She is a bit older than my other daughter, but, as you
can see, even prettier.”
“Yes.”
The ladies took chairs at his table and the woman went on with
her introduction. “Her sister told her of your kindness
and your skill in love-making, and she asked me to bring her
here to meet you.”
The woman was good. Her statement complimented his generosity
and his ability and invited him to demonstrate his skills with
this older, wiser version of a daughter. He did not, for a second,
believe the two girls were sisters or had spoken to each other.
But what, he wondered, did the woman mean by her claim that the
young girl praised his skills? It could mean that the girl had
only watched and the woman’s claim of her daughter’s
appreciation was merely a hopeful stimulant meant to lure him
into the charms of the one who now sat at his table. Or the reference,
though certainly not to a conversation between the girls, could
nonetheless be accurate—not that the girl had expressed appreciation
for what he’d done to her, but that it was she, and not
the older woman, who had satisfied him.
“That’s nice,” he said, and remembered that
he used the exact same phrase the day before. The repetition
and the woman’s statement, like keys to a forbidden room,
began to unlock what had been hidden.
“Shall we go to your room?”, the woman asked.
He looked at the hopeful face of the woman, then at the pretty
child at her side. The girl’s smiling countenance fused
with the pain and resignation on the face of the child who had
passively lain whimpering beneath his thrusting form and he shuddered,
his body recoiling in shame, his mind desperate for escape.
“Not now,” he said, and stood up.
He left the hotel, went carefully across the traffic on Roxas
Boulevard and hurried through the beggars in the park until he
stood at the cement breakwater at the edge of Manila Bay. The
bay was flat and nearly empty, a single freighter at anchor to
the north and pleasure craft tied up to the slips around Imelda
Marcos’ Cultural Center to the south. He tried to imagine
what it must have looked like in 1898 when American warships
destroyed the Spanish fleet anchored there, or, in 1945 when
U.S. forces drove the Japanese from the harbor and the city.
It seemed to him unfair that a scene of so much hatred and bloodshed
should be so tranquil. Such places should carry scars, he thought—permanent
reminders of the destructive power of America. It was a power
that not only destroyed opposing forces, but which
brought about enduring political, economic, and cultural subjugation,
the kind of subjugation that made him and his countrymen objects
of the needful begging of the disenfranchised human flotsam in
the park or that was presently patiently awaiting, he supposed,
his return to the lobby of the Sofitel.
Such, he understood, are the real scars of war. The monuments
to leaders and the lists of the fallen commemorate those who
waged those wars, but the lasting scars are in the people who
survive, in the subservience of the losers and the guilt of the
conquerors.
By the time he did go back inside, the woman and the girl were
sitting at a different table, talking to a different man.
He hoped they would be successful and he hoped yesterday’s
daughter, like Manila Bay, was free of scars and was somewhere
playing with her friends.
He knew his scars would be forever.
[END]
© 2005 Robert J. Scholes - Contributor's
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